There is a classic Mel Brooks scene in the History of the World movie where Brooks plays Moses coming down from the mountain. He went to a lot of trouble to capture the “Charlton Heston” Moses look, right down to the lighting, the garb, the mountain backdrop, and the long flowing beard. And he is holding three tablets instead of two. As he appears to the Chosen People, he announces to all that “The Lord, the Lord Jehovah, has given onto you these Fifteen” (and, of course, drops one of the tablets which breaks into a hundred pieces, and with his classic timing says)…”these Ten Commandments!” Great stuff!

The original Ten Commandments covers a lot of ground for mere mortals like us, and they formed a good deal of what ultimately became our civil laws. In case you forgot them from Sunday school or religion class, here they are again:

1. I am the Lord thy God! Thou shalt have no other Gods but me!
2. Thou shalt not take the Name of the Lord thy God in vain!
3. Thou shalt keep the Sabbath Day holy!
4. Thou shalt honor thy father and mother!
5. Thou shalt not kill!
6. Thou shalt not commit adultery!
7. Thou shalt not steal!
8. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor!
9. Do not let thyself lust after thy neighbor’s wife!
10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s house, nor his farm, nor his cattle, nor anything that is his!

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With the first three, God made sure of his own interests: One God to a customer, no false images, don’t talk bad about Me, and give Me my one day a week. Old Jehovah must have been feeling a bit insecure that day.

He gave a nod to Mom and Dad with the fourth one, although He Himself never had parents. Guess he felt a little guilty about rousting Adam and Eve from paradise.

And the last six are don’ts: don’t murder anyone, don’t screw around, don’t steal, don’t lie, don’t go lusting after your neighbor’s hot little wife, and don’t covet thy neighbor’s bigger home, farm, cows, BMW, or anything else he owns and you don’t.

But the Brooks movie got me thinking. What would those missing five commandments have been? The first ten already touch on all the biggies, the stuff you might go to jail for, cause a divorce, get you shot, or maybe promise you a one-way ticket to Gehenna after your death. Did he really cover all the ground?

So rather than leave you wondering, here are my choices for those missing Five Commandments, but I offer them for your consideration in three flavors: The Heavies, The Regulars and The Lights. After all, I’m no Jehovah, and besides, he covered all the really hard stuff with his first ten.

The Heavies:

11. If thou should become a leader, remember that the best leaders are servants to those they lead.
12. Thou shall try to find someone in this world to love more than yourself. You’ll like it.
13. Do some good for someone, or a lot of someones, if you can.
14. Tolerate.
15. Though shalt not hold a grudge forever.

The Regulars:  

11. Thou shalt utter more sentences that end in question marks than in exclamation points.
12. Thou shalt remember that thou is in charge of just thy life, not mine.
13. Thou shalt simply own thy possessions, rather than the other way around.
14. Thou shalt be generous and then keepeth thy mouth shut about how generous thou art.
15. Thou shalt remember that having a lot of money is nice, but it’s not a virtue.

The Lights:

11. Thou shalt remember that thou cannot put an old head on young shoulders. (Compliments to Deacon Bob Ryan on this one.)
12. Thou shalt not suck the air out of the room at a party.
13. Thou shalt not be afraid to over-tip thy server.
14. Thou shalt not worry about those things thou can’t fix.
15. Thou shalt not lose faith in thy team, no matter how bad they sucketh this year.

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So here is my open invitation to all of you…………….what would thou like to add to any or all of these lists? Feel free to reply to Comments!